Right now the most difficult part of my day is being forced to eat breakfast every morning. So I’m working on a sandwich now. Last night, someone tried to insult me by calling me an ‘autist’. That ‘insult’ confused me… I love who I am, I was born this way for a reason, and I can’t change.
It’s almost funny now that some want to challenge the Asperger or autism diagnosis….. but none of these people are specialist. So I guess the next stop will be an autism specialist.
People need to understand Autism, and its ‘spectrums’. The Netherlands is supposed to be a modern, first world country, but this is the second time a Hollander has tried to insult me by calling me autistic. I guess if you’re an idiot, you equate Autism with Mental Retardation. Let me try to explain. There are different types of Autism. There is a spectrum. If you are on the lower end of the spectrum, you have a lot of problems communicating, socializing, functioning etc. And that’s why many who are Lower Spectrum Autistic are misdiagnosed as being retarded. The reality is, many of them are geniuses, they simply cannot function or communicate in YOUR world very well.
Asperger autism is on the Higher Spectrum. So yes, we can communicate, socialize somewhat etc….. But that’s where our problems usually are. We have the ABILITY to be trained like monkeys, to act the way you want us to act… but nurture will not necessarily change nature. I have the ability to fake it, and act like everyone else. I can, I have…. but I can sustain the fakeness for too long, as thus… I am always in something
I filed charges against Former Parliamentarian Leroy de Weever, and NEVER expected it to go to court. It went to court, and he lost… shocker! That was the only shocker. So Leroy being acquitted means nothing. I filed charges to make him pay for his crimes, and he did… big time 🙂 When I was sick, I couldn’t blog effectively, I couldn’t do yoga or pilates, I couldn’t do much. So I lost all of my stress releases. Now I think it’s been four weeks since surgery. I can walk for short periods, I can do basic work outs, and I can FOCUS on vlogging and blogging. I’m trapped in a trashcan, surrounded by trash talking trash about other trash…. So I guess I’m in my ‘natural habitat’. Blogging is my outlet, the best therapy. My best therapists are politicians 🙂 Yoga is my physical therapy… I’m gaining stamina. Everyone knows that I was blogging minutes before surgery at the hospital, and hours after surgery. So I think that it’s clear, NO hindrance, no illness, NO POLITICIAN will stop me. Half the time I don’t even want to blog, but people contact me, or I run into someone stupid, who says or does something stupid, and I feel compelled to blog. Because I am focusing on my physical comeback, even when I want to blog now, I take a walk instead. I like Leroy’s acquittal, because now I know what I will blog about in a rage, the next time I get pissed off. So in a twisted way, the next time I get furious or depressed, Leroy de Weever will bring back my seratonin. I think it’s clear, that I don’t give a shit who likes or hates me. If I cared, I certainly wouldn’t function. Some don’t like my attitude, my language, my personality bla bla… I’ve had assholes tell me that my attitude will get me killed! Really? What attitude is that? A strong, dominant woman who REFUSES to be a victim or your prey? My attitude and personality has kept me alive. Because no weak person could have gone through, what I’ve gone through, and am still going through and survived. The former editor of St Louis Magazine asked me to submit an article about Hillary Clinton in 2008. She liked Clinton, I liked Obama. When she read my article, she explained that it was simply too ‘harsh’, and she was the one who suggested that I blog. I had to Google the word ‘blog’. I was not interested, I kept on vlogging. It was the Dutch Sint Maarten government who forced me to blog for the first time. It was the Dutch Sint Maarten government who forced me to learn infinite skills on the computer, without taking ONE computer class… so how can I be mad at them. When I was interviewed for St Louis Magazine in 2008. I received a free copy in the mail. When I read my article… I didn’t really like it. I felt that it portrayed myself and my views too harshly. But I do realize now, that it was a correct perception of me. Whether I like it or not, I can come off as being very harsh, hard and cold. People say that is the reason why I’m in trouble, I say-that’s the reason that I’m still alive. Synchronicity means that what is meant to be will be. Humans like to believe that they have control over everything, or certain things-but we don’t. In ten seconds you can be dead of a stroke, heart attack, accident…..We control NOTHING! My main goals today is to work on some videos, laundry, and to mop this floor. I believe that even my hysterectomy was a blessing in disguise, because whether you want to believe it or not, it has made me calmer. Just don’t step in the Jack Spaniards nest. As you can see, I have a new website to keep me busy, so I’ll work on that and maybe a new belly isolation video, to show progress.
I know that some people believe that I love conflict and drama. That is complete bullshit. If you know or knew me, you would know that my entire life, I spent with my nose in a book. In my own little world, and I don’t like intrusion. in 2006 I switched from books to computers, and that was all she wrote. I don’t like drama or conflict, but evidently I THRIVE in it. I was born into it, grew up in conflict, and the fact that I still stand, tells me that not only am I a survivor, but I’ve gotten stronger.
This was not supposed to be a blog, but a Facebook posting. However, as usual Facebook is not functioning right, so I will blog, and simply repost.
Thank you people behind the scenes who continue to support me, but I also need to thank my detractors, who continue to make me stronger.
My sweet haters, where would I be without you?
I have to go workout, I’ll come back to edit this later.